Friday, June 20, 2008

What NOT to say to your Dominant...

And now for something I found hilarious, but absolutely true. Submissives: Enjoy, but if you try My patience by testing them out while serving Me you will pay dearly! This gem apparently has an unknown author, but can be credited to a BDSM knowledge and resource database called I took the liberty of editing it down to a Top Ten List for brevity.

What NOT to say to your Dominant...

1."Oh my god, where did you get those, they are gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.
2."Ya want fries with that?", and "Want me to drink it for you too?" are not appropriate remarks when Mistress gives you an elaborate drink order.
3.Kicking that toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Mistress will only secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffs and make you crawl for it... repeatedly.
4."Bite me" is never an intelligent response to a command.
5.Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Mistress practices her Japanese rope work on you will try her patience, quickly.
6.Pretending Mistress's collection of buttplugs are toys and singing the "Weebles wobble but they won't fall down" song is not a good idea.
7."I know you are but what am I?" is not the appropriate response when called a raunchy little whore during humiliation play.
8."Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me" is an unacceptable remark when Mistress's flogger slips.

9.When Mistress pulls out her bullwhip and says she wants to play, she doesn't mean hide-and-seek...she will find you eventually.
10.Arguing whether "Mistress might not be right, but Mistress is never wrong" is Zen or Buddhist philosophy will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner on a bed of Legos "to help you consider the question in quiet contemplation."

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