Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Kinky Thought of the Day
"BDSM is spinning a sexual yarn blending threads of fact and fantasy, drama and comedy, tradition and innovation."
- excerpt from the book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by P. Miller and M. Devon
- excerpt from the book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by P. Miller and M. Devon
Friday, April 9, 2010
The 9 Levels of Submission
Several entries ago I did a piece on sensual BDSM that really resonated with many of you. While surfing the web today I found the following, which expands on the variety of categories of "submissives" that exist, and may help you to ascertain your own predilections and desires with more accuracy.
From my personal perspective as a domme, none of these is better or any more "ideal" as a client than any other - but knowing what your stance is can help in your communication of your desires to Me and will ensure a more satisfying session for both of us:
"Within the S/M subculture, different people use the words "submissive and slave" to mean many different things. When submissives say "I want to be your slave," sometimes they mean only that they want to be tied up and whipped. Many professional dominants routinely refer to their (usually _not_ very genuinely submissive clients) as "slaves." At the other extreme, there are people who want to be full-time personal servants, and who truly want to exist solely for their Dom(me)'s use, pleasure and convenience. And there are many shades in between these two extremes.
1. THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST. Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms and for the masochist's own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one's own bodily sensatons rather than by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).
2. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Not into even playing "slave," but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being "used" to gratify partner's sadism; may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsbility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her/his own direct/pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
5. TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by dominant-but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May/may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being the object of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.
6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE. Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have long-term relationship with one's Mistress, but, either way, the "slave" has the final say over when she will serve.
7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE. Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant's property at all times. Wants to obey and please dom(me) in all aspects of life-practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but Dom(me) has first pick of the slave's free time.
8. FULL-TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE. Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/himself as existing solely for the Dom(me)'s pleasure/well being. Slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially of the slave is male. Within the S/M world, a full time "slave" arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude carefully, with more awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS. A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom(me), with no limits at all. I've met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases I have reason to doubt the claim."
***********************************************************************************
I found this piece on http://www.mybdsm.com/. They claim to be uncertain of the author, so if anyone knows who penned this, let me know and I will give credit where it is due.
From my personal perspective as a domme, none of these is better or any more "ideal" as a client than any other - but knowing what your stance is can help in your communication of your desires to Me and will ensure a more satisfying session for both of us:
"Within the S/M subculture, different people use the words "submissive and slave" to mean many different things. When submissives say "I want to be your slave," sometimes they mean only that they want to be tied up and whipped. Many professional dominants routinely refer to their (usually _not_ very genuinely submissive clients) as "slaves." At the other extreme, there are people who want to be full-time personal servants, and who truly want to exist solely for their Dom(me)'s use, pleasure and convenience. And there are many shades in between these two extremes.
1. THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST. Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms and for the masochist's own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one's own bodily sensatons rather than by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).
2. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Not into even playing "slave," but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being "used" to gratify partner's sadism; may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsbility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her/his own direct/pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
5. TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by dominant-but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May/may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being the object of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.
6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE. Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have long-term relationship with one's Mistress, but, either way, the "slave" has the final say over when she will serve.
7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE. Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant's property at all times. Wants to obey and please dom(me) in all aspects of life-practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but Dom(me) has first pick of the slave's free time.
8. FULL-TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE. Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/himself as existing solely for the Dom(me)'s pleasure/well being. Slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially of the slave is male. Within the S/M world, a full time "slave" arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude carefully, with more awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS. A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom(me), with no limits at all. I've met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases I have reason to doubt the claim."
***********************************************************************************
I found this piece on http://www.mybdsm.com/. They claim to be uncertain of the author, so if anyone knows who penned this, let me know and I will give credit where it is due.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Wanted: Female Submissive
Ok, this is officially a job ad. I am looking for a female submissive who would like to work with Me on a casual basis doing sessions that would involve Me, you, and select submissive male clients.
You MUST:
- be between the ages of 18 and 30.
- be healthy, in good physical condition, and must possess self-esteem and self-respect.
- be at minimum a high school graduate, but higher education preferred (university student ideal).
- be living in, or within 20 minutes of the downtown Toronto area (west end ideal).
- be reliable, flexible, and punctual.
- be a grounded person with a good sense of humour.
- genuinely enjoy experiencing submission in a BDSM encounter (your limits will always be respected).
If you are out there and interested, send an email to the_alchemical_seductress@inbox.com telling Me a bit about yourself and why you'd like this opportunity. If I decide that you may be suitable, you must be willing to meet me for an in-person interview over coffee within a week of My getting back to you.
Thanks in advance!
You MUST:
- be between the ages of 18 and 30.
- be healthy, in good physical condition, and must possess self-esteem and self-respect.
- be at minimum a high school graduate, but higher education preferred (university student ideal).
- be living in, or within 20 minutes of the downtown Toronto area (west end ideal).
- be reliable, flexible, and punctual.
- be a grounded person with a good sense of humour.
- genuinely enjoy experiencing submission in a BDSM encounter (your limits will always be respected).
If you are out there and interested, send an email to the_alchemical_seductress@inbox.com telling Me a bit about yourself and why you'd like this opportunity. If I decide that you may be suitable, you must be willing to meet me for an in-person interview over coffee within a week of My getting back to you.
Thanks in advance!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Important News Bulletin
Ladies and gentlemen, this was actually in today's news. Really. Seriously.
Girls Spanked, Suspended for Skimpy Prom Dresses - Alabama High School boasts very strict dress code
Girls Spanked, Suspended for Skimpy Prom Dresses - Alabama High School boasts very strict dress code
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Honey and Sting
Though I`ve not got an agriculturally-inclined bone in My body I will confess to you all that in the last couple of months I have become fascinated with honeybees. Most notably because as I read more and more about hives and honeybees I am realizing that they are a great prototype for how to sustain a FemDom community.
Consider the following: The hive`s entire focus and raison d`etre is the Queen. She is waited upon by hundreds of attendant bees and nurse bees for the entirety of her life, and is the only bee in the hive who is fed royal jelly for the entirety of her development, a substance of incredible nutritional value that develops her sexual capacity. Guard bees, who protect the hive from intruders, are willing to put their lives on the line to defend the Queen, as are worker bees, who, after stinging a person out of self-defense, die.
The only male bees in the hive are called drones, and the only thing they have to accomplish in their short lives is to mate with and fertilize the Queen. Only one of them can do so, however, and the others are pushed out of the hive and left to die or fend for themselves. All is not peachy for the lucky drone, though - after mating with the queen his genitalia gets ripped out of his body and remains in the body of the queen. He he. Next time someone tells you that CBT is not a natural practice, you can use this example to prove them wrong!
It evokes a kind of mythical FemDom fantasy world...and I believe it would make an excellent plot for an erotic novella :-)
Consider the following: The hive`s entire focus and raison d`etre is the Queen. She is waited upon by hundreds of attendant bees and nurse bees for the entirety of her life, and is the only bee in the hive who is fed royal jelly for the entirety of her development, a substance of incredible nutritional value that develops her sexual capacity. Guard bees, who protect the hive from intruders, are willing to put their lives on the line to defend the Queen, as are worker bees, who, after stinging a person out of self-defense, die.
The only male bees in the hive are called drones, and the only thing they have to accomplish in their short lives is to mate with and fertilize the Queen. Only one of them can do so, however, and the others are pushed out of the hive and left to die or fend for themselves. All is not peachy for the lucky drone, though - after mating with the queen his genitalia gets ripped out of his body and remains in the body of the queen. He he. Next time someone tells you that CBT is not a natural practice, you can use this example to prove them wrong!
It evokes a kind of mythical FemDom fantasy world...and I believe it would make an excellent plot for an erotic novella :-)
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