Anyone can learn the mechanics of BDSM: How to tie a knot, aim a whip, or wield a strap-on. However, as even I can attest from some of my early experiences, a rope, a whip, and a strap-on do not a kick-ass session make. Think back for a moment to some BDSM scenes you have experienced - what made some of them mind blowing, and some of them fall flat?
If I were to really press you, I suspect that you would ultimately conclude that you had the best time when you felt that a Domme really "got into your head", was able to control you psychologically as well as physically, knew your emotional hot buttons and pushed them...or something similar.
A question I get asked frequently by new Dommes and Tops falls along these lines. They are comfortable swinging a flogger and locking the handcuffs, but wish that they knew how to better connect with their submissives and achieve the psychological control that underlies the synergy and dynamic flow of a scene. In other words: "I tied him up, now how to I make him sweat??"
Over the next few weeks I will begin to write about some of the methods that I use in my sessions with clients so that you can try them at home (though admittedly, completing a psychology degree and starting to pay a lot more attention to your intuition are excellent starting points!)
Stay tuned!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Too hot for latex!
So yesterday I pulled on my favourite pair of black leather boots and wandered on down to Church St., site of the Sixth Annual Church Street Fetish Fair: a Folsom Fair North, if you will.
Despite 40 degree temperatures that were making Me slightly regret the boots (but sigh with relief that I wasn't wearing latex), the street was packed with wonderfully pervy people who were there to watch and be watched.
I attended a single tail whip instructional workshop and got several good tips for polishing my technique, and contemplated purchasing several pieces of lovely evening wear for my crossdressing clients but decided against them when the fabric felt too synthetic. I also saw a number of you around and am glad you came over to say hello!
Succumb to shopping I did eventually, and am excited to announce the following additions to my toy and clothing collection: a new leather cockring on a leash, a beautiful pair of red latex elbow gloves, a very unique cat-o-nine tails made out of nylon rope, three pieces of original artwork for my playspace, and a set of Pratt medical grade urethral sounds that I am particularly looking forward to trying!
Any guinea pigs?
Despite 40 degree temperatures that were making Me slightly regret the boots (but sigh with relief that I wasn't wearing latex), the street was packed with wonderfully pervy people who were there to watch and be watched.
I attended a single tail whip instructional workshop and got several good tips for polishing my technique, and contemplated purchasing several pieces of lovely evening wear for my crossdressing clients but decided against them when the fabric felt too synthetic. I also saw a number of you around and am glad you came over to say hello!
Succumb to shopping I did eventually, and am excited to announce the following additions to my toy and clothing collection: a new leather cockring on a leash, a beautiful pair of red latex elbow gloves, a very unique cat-o-nine tails made out of nylon rope, three pieces of original artwork for my playspace, and a set of Pratt medical grade urethral sounds that I am particularly looking forward to trying!
Any guinea pigs?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Upcoming workshop at Good For Her...!
It's been a wild and eventful summer so far, but I have to say that it is lovely to be home. As tempting as it was to up and move to San Fransisco (which I fell in love with), I think I'd miss you all too much!
Looking towards the fall, I am excited to announce that I will be presenting a workshop called "The Reluctant Dominatrix" at Good For Her on November 3, 2009 from 7-9:30pm. It is for women who are curious about being sexually dominant but scared to go there, or for women whose partners want them to be sexually dominant, but who are experiencing hesitation, anxiety, fear, or other emotional blocks that prevent them from exploring in that way. The intent of the workshop is to name and unpack the blocks, find the opportunities hidden in each block, and to begin to move towards accessing and befriending the inner FemDomme so she can come out and play!
It is for women only, so guys tell your female friends and significant others about it.
To register:
http://goodforher.com/shop/product.php?productid=16153&cat=1&page=1
Thank you!!
Looking towards the fall, I am excited to announce that I will be presenting a workshop called "The Reluctant Dominatrix" at Good For Her on November 3, 2009 from 7-9:30pm. It is for women who are curious about being sexually dominant but scared to go there, or for women whose partners want them to be sexually dominant, but who are experiencing hesitation, anxiety, fear, or other emotional blocks that prevent them from exploring in that way. The intent of the workshop is to name and unpack the blocks, find the opportunities hidden in each block, and to begin to move towards accessing and befriending the inner FemDomme so she can come out and play!
It is for women only, so guys tell your female friends and significant others about it.
To register:
http://goodforher.com/shop/product.php?productid=16153&cat=1&page=1
Thank you!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Travelling Again!
IMPORTANT:
The only days this month I AM AVAILABLE for sessions in Toronto are: JULY 27, 28, and 29.
I will be checking email intermittently between now and then, so if you are interested in booking for one of those three days, send me an email.
Other than that, I will be resuming regular sessions in Toronto AFTER AUGUST 9.
The only days this month I AM AVAILABLE for sessions in Toronto are: JULY 27, 28, and 29.
I will be checking email intermittently between now and then, so if you are interested in booking for one of those three days, send me an email.
Other than that, I will be resuming regular sessions in Toronto AFTER AUGUST 9.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Back From Phoenix
Now, I am certain that while the cat was away the little mice have gotten themselves into piles of trouble. You know you need to be set straight, don't you...!
I can happily report that I had a lovely time in Arizona, whose dry heat is still infusing Me with a passionate enthusiasm for life, kink, and adventure! During My travels, I made the aquaintance of the incomparably lovely Mistress Porsche Lynn, and will likely be passing through the Den of Indomitus sometime before the end of the year. Keep an eye out...I will post more details here as they become available.
In the meantime, I need to exercise My claws...
I can happily report that I had a lovely time in Arizona, whose dry heat is still infusing Me with a passionate enthusiasm for life, kink, and adventure! During My travels, I made the aquaintance of the incomparably lovely Mistress Porsche Lynn, and will likely be passing through the Den of Indomitus sometime before the end of the year. Keep an eye out...I will post more details here as they become available.
In the meantime, I need to exercise My claws...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Human Sexuality Counselling FAQ
As many of you know, I am a trained psychotherapist, My area of expertise from formal education and life experience being Human Sexuality. I often get asked the same questions over and over by people inquiring about these services, and so am reprinting them here for anyone who is potentially interested:
Who are these services for?
Men, women, couples, transpeople, sex workers of all sexual orientations or predilections...Anyone who wants to delve deeper into self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-development in the arena of their sexuality and/or sexual identity.
How many sessions do I see you for?
Our sexual natures are complex and multifaceted. We did not become the way we are overnight, so one cannot expect that whatever it is you are trying to work through will get resolved in one session. The actual number of sessions vary depending on the person and the desired goals, but I would say that a minimum of three sessions is generally necessary to begin to gain some insight and perspective.
What would we talk about?
The "issues" that we talk about in session are client-defined. What that means is that I am not going to diagnose you or label you or tell you what I think your problem is. Those who access My services generally have a good idea of what they want to explore and why, and so that becomes the starting point for the work. Just a few of the past issues that I have been approached with:
Who are these services for?
Men, women, couples, transpeople, sex workers of all sexual orientations or predilections...Anyone who wants to delve deeper into self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-development in the arena of their sexuality and/or sexual identity.
How many sessions do I see you for?
Our sexual natures are complex and multifaceted. We did not become the way we are overnight, so one cannot expect that whatever it is you are trying to work through will get resolved in one session. The actual number of sessions vary depending on the person and the desired goals, but I would say that a minimum of three sessions is generally necessary to begin to gain some insight and perspective.
What would we talk about?
The "issues" that we talk about in session are client-defined. What that means is that I am not going to diagnose you or label you or tell you what I think your problem is. Those who access My services generally have a good idea of what they want to explore and why, and so that becomes the starting point for the work. Just a few of the past issues that I have been approached with:
- Seeking understanding of personal fetishes, fantasies, or desires that seem to differ from the "norm"
- Acceptance of sexual or gender orientation
- Exploring personal motivations for engaging or not engaging sexually
- Difficulties with orgasm
- Desire incompatibilities in relationships
- Patterns of sexual engagement that no longer work and need changing
- Sexual communication skills
What would a session consist of?
Sessions may include goal setting, discussion, narrative therapy (a form of therapy that bases itself on the stories people tell about themselves and their worlds), and role playing or other experiential exercises to help you gain insight into yourself. I may give you tasks or assignments to complete at home in between sessions.
What are your fees?
Counselling fees can be found on My website, in the "Appointments" section.
Isn't it time you uncovered and lived from your sexual truth? Pleasure is everyone's birthright!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Leaving on a jet plane...
Going to Arizona on a personal trip on June 18, returning June 30, and will not be checking email during that time. If you would like to book in advance for the month of July, send Me a note and I will get back to you asap on My return to confirm it with you.
Enjoy the lovely June weather...
Enjoy the lovely June weather...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)