Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From My Dominatrix: Deprivation, Denial and Discipline

This is the first article in a series. Read my introduction in a previous post.

What on earth could possibly be good about deprivation and denial, and the discipline that gets learned as a result? If there are three words that inspire absolute repulsion in people it is those three. We live in an addictive society that is all about instant gratification. Press a button, and your groceries end up on your doorstep. Turn on your computer, and you can pick up women without leaving your bedroom. If we have to wait more than five minutes for something we say that it takes too long. It is as though we are contending with a societal pandemic of attention deficit disorder.
One could say that this is a good thing, an indication that we are evolving...but is it? Do we get the same kind of satisfaction from a microwave dinner as we would if we had grown the food ourselves, painstakingly prepared it and carefully cooked it? The former is certainly quicker than the latter. But it is the former that we are more likely to stuff down quickly in front of a television set. Satisfying? Not particularly!
It is the same in a BDSM session, particularly for those who are new to the game. One can look at the deprivation and denial in a session and be frustrated because what one perceives to be one's needs, whatever they are, are not being immediately addressed. Alternately, one can surrender to the deprivation in whatever form it takes, sublimating one's baser instincts for something much more inherently satisfying and fulfilling. This takes quite a lot of discipline and self-control,
but the benefits are significant. According to Tantric belief systems, the occasional circulation within the body of the energy of arousal without reaching a peak, or by taking a longer than usual time to peak, promotes health and vitalizes the organs. It cultivates discipline, which builds the integrity of one's character, teaches patience, and gives a person a sense of accomplishment. Lastly, the next time a "meal" does appear on your plate, ready for consumption, one will be able to slow down and consciously savour the precious gift of it with the satisfaction of knowing that one earned it!

Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From My Dominatrix: Introduction

A wise man once told me with regards to my work as a Domme that it is not what I do, but how I do it that matters. He also told me that it is the intent behind my actions that determines the context, and that in that way the simplest of activities can become a ceremony to lead both Domme and sub further into self-awareness. Finally, he added that it is useless to talk about any of the above, because it must be experienced to be believed.

Over the next few weeks, I will be beginning a series of posts about some of the unusual, curious, or controversial aspects of a BDSM session, giving an alternate perspective on how to embrace such activities for personal self-development simply by shifting one`s intent, attitude, and approach.

I will touch on: deprivation, letting go of control, and receptivity to start.
Stay tuned...

Foot Lovin'

I have recieved numerous mock complaints from my devoted foot worshipers, pointing to the fact that I do not have a gallery of foot pics on my site. 'Tis true. So while I work my sexy little toes to create a foot gallery, here are a few stray pictures...try to resist the urge to lick the screen ;-)

All photos credited to photographer PT Potter.

Santa Clause Mystery Solved!

Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGTMJp4jtno

Have a very happy holidays!

Kinky Thought of the Day

"The world is so full of suffering, and all of us suffer so greatly in body and spirit, that even the saints have difficulty understanding this. It is one of the most difficult tasks of the individuation process to accept sorrow and joy, pain and pleasure, God's anger and God's grace. The opposites - suffering and joy, pain and pleasure - are symbolically united in masochism. Thus life can be actually accepted, and even pain can be joyfully experienced. The masochist, in a remarkable and fantastic way, confronts and comes to terms with the greatests opposites of our existence."

- Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature, Eds. Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams

Christmas Special on Couples Sessions

There is something very special about playing with couples. First of all, it is quite remarkable when people in long-term relationships make it a priority to keep their bedroom romps interesting and edgy after so many years. Second of all, being able to witness the intimacy of two people who know each other so well stepping into the unknown together is precious.
Therefore, until Jan. 31, 2009 I am offering a special rate for couples sessions. Please contact me for details.

IMPORTANT:
*I will not see couples unless I have agreement from BOTH parties that this is something that they BOTH want to do. If I sense coercion in any way I will not book the session. Nervousness and hesitation, however, are normal, and I will do everything in my power to answer any questions and allay any fears beforehand.
*I am open to booking with heterosexual couples as well as LGBT couples.

POSSIBLE SCENARIOS:
*One partner is submissive, wants other partner to learn how to dominate them. Partner #2 is willing but wants a lesson or two from Me.
*Both partners are submissive to Me, but one gets made My assistant, allowing them to take on a switch type role in which I direct them to dominate their partner.
*Both partners switch (are interested in learning about both their dominant and submissive sides). Again under My facilitation, both parties get opportunities to play both roles.
*Feel free to suggest another scenario...

NOTE: I am also available for private lessons to women who want to learn how to access or further develop themselves as Dominant women one-on-one. Again, contact me for details.

COME JOIN ME ON SANTA'S NAUGHTY LIST - BRING YOUR SWEETHEART IN FOR A KINKY ADVENTURE!

Civilized behaviour aside...

I have quite the mental capacity for perverted thinking, or so those close to me like to brag. Since there is hardly a moment when I am not entertaining myself with the imagined kinky potential of someone, something, or some situation, you can probably imagine that the landscape inside my mind is quite colourful. I'll add that these are fun fantasies intended for consensual enjoyment, not ideas for non-consensual or criminal activity.

1. While sitting on the subway one day in late summer, it crossed my mind that it would be so lovely if I could make a naked slave crawl slowly through the car, licking the soles of the hundreds of sexy strappy sandals dangling off the perfectly pedicured feet of the female riders...
2. Also on the subway, imagining an intricate bondage scene in which male and female slaves were stripped and tied to the poles in the subway with rope, arms fastened above their heads, so that anyone entering or exiting the subway could do as they wished...
3. Out for dinner with friends at a rather fancy restaurant in which all the waitstaff seemed uptight, imagining a slave on a collar and lead under the table lying at my feet. I would occasionally feed it bits of food from my plate, kicking it gently if it attempted to move, and upon rising to leave, force it to crawl the length of the restaurant in front of the waitstaff and the other diners like a well-behaved doggy...
4. At the airport waiting for a plane, laughing hysterically to myself imagining the handsome border control officers confiscating the silky pieces of lingerie in my suitcase so they can try it all on for each other in the back room...

You'll never see subways, restaurants, or airports the same way again, I guarantee it.