The Playful Erotic: Dusting Off the Adult Imagination

She chased you to the back of the playground and told you she'd share her new crayons with you if you showed her what you had "down there". You tried kissing her with bubble gum in your mouth to see if you could share a "bubble". He often played "doctor" with his next-door-neighbour, always delighted when she rang him up complaining that she was "sick".

Somewhere along the line, most adults decide that sexual exploration is serious. Very, very serious. This wasn't always the case, as the examples above illustrate.

Perhaps it happens at puberty, with the self-consciousness of a changing body or the guidance (or misguidance) of a strict or nervous parent, or a little later with the increasing pressure of "performance", a partner's high expectations, or anxiety about pregnancy and STI's.

While those may have been, and may continue to be very real concerns, if you focus all of your attention on them you will miss out on one of the biggest secrets of joyful erotic connection: Humour, innocence, and PLAY!

I often joke with people, saying that My chosen field of work feels like being back in drama camp. I get to do face painting (make-up), wear costumes, and invent and play imagination games. I make the rules of the game, and if I don't like the game anymore I change it. It is true that the content of My games now are a little more adult oriented - but that is one of the pleasures and priviledges that comes with being an adult.

As a Dominant, one of My intentions is to re-awaken in you the spirit of play. Those of you've sessioned with Me know well the mischevious, impish grin that is never far from My lips. There is something very healing about taking the time to explore your fantasies in a space of unconditional acceptance and heck, even love. It means that the dirty little secrets don't take up as much of your psychic energy in the rest of your life. And, in shining a little more light on a formerly shameful, dusty dark corner of your mind, you may actually find a bit of the self-acceptance that so many desperately seek.

Be the Change...

A dear teacher once told Me to "be the change I want to see". In other words, to stop dreaming about how the world should or could be better, and to start engaging within it as though it already looks that way.

For Me, that means not sitting around being depressed because people are so negative about sexuality, but actually taking time to discover for Myself and then embody what a sexually healthy person might look like. I seek to be a role model for conscious sexual development, in order to help people discover their own unique and individual sexual truths.

There is so much misinformation that we get daily from the outside about how we should be, feel, do, or experience sex - and virtually no encouragement to look inside ourselves and the wisdom of our lived experience for the answers. And sexuality is a vital and essential part of what makes us human!

I encourage all of you to take some time to reflect on how authentically you are giving expression to your sexual truths, whatever those might be. Have the courage to take a measure of how much space you allow them, and then be brave enough to give them a bit more breathing room.
They are embodiments of your most essential self, and that self deserves to live.

Kinky Thought of the Day

"To experience the fullness of human experience, we need passivity and receptivity as well as assertion.
We need a sense of mystical wonder as well as rational problem solving.
We need to be in touch with what the psychoanalyst Carl Jung called "the shadow" - the weak, limited, degraded, sinful side of ourselves as well as the strong, loving, compassionate, competent side.
We need to move out from under the onus of our egocentric way of viewing life; to abdicate control as well as to take it.
Masochistic submission, in centering on lack, inadequacy and weakness, puts us in touch with the entirety of our humanity."

~ By Dorothy C. Hayden, in Masochism as a Spiritual Path

Visit to Montreal in August

So I am thinking of taking My show on the road. I have had enough of you over the last year emailing Me asking when I will be visiting "X, Y, and Z" place to have made the decision to try doing working tours. I will be starting with My hometown of Montreal, and if that goes well, I will try going a little further. The tour will be pending enough parties interested in sessions to make it worth the travel expenses, and will likely take place in August.
If you are a Montrealer, and potentially interested in a session with Me if I visit, please contact Me asap. I will be collecting a list of interested parties, whom I will notify if the trip occurs.

Ladies Taking Porn Into Their Own Hands

Last night I attended an event, now in its fourth year, called the Feminist Porn Awards. The only event of its kind in the world, it seeks to honour the best new porn films that women had a hand in making, producing, directing, etc., as well as ones that depict actual female pleasure and orgasm.

I have to say that the kinky films that won awards last night were some of the hottest I have ever seen, succesfully depicting BDSM as empowering and fulfilling without compromising the hardcore domination and submission content.

Especially worth checking out are films by Madison Young, a highly talented new adult film director and actress based out of San Fransisco.
The film clip showing Madison tied to a chair with her breasts bound, moaning as she slowly dripped wax on her hard nipples will not soon be forgotten ;-)

Leave You Hanging? My Pleasure!

Introducing the latest addition to my ever-more-formidable play space: The Brumbie Tower. A completely original design, this is a multifunctional bondage tower with a bend-over spanking bar attatchment. This model was made to fit my space, but the extraordinary woodworker who created it is willing to reproduce it to your measurements if you are interested in ordering one. Email me if you'd like his contact info!

This photograph was taken mid-assembly, sans chains, cuffs, collar, etc.

I have since prettied it up, and am wetly looking forward to lynching somebody on it! Arms restrained tightly above your head, your neck held in place with a leather collar hanging from the top of the structure, I can do absolutely anything I wish to you, while you look on helpless!

If your behaviour has been unquestionably bad, I may order you to bend over the spanking bar so that I can administer the kind of punishment I know you need.

Come play with Me. I promise to leave you hanging!

Kinky Thought of the Day

This quote is from a reading I had to do in university in Sexuality Studies...gotta love talking about kinky sex in class!

"Indeed, the outrage of S/M is precisely its hostility to the idea of Nature as the custodian of social power: S/M refuses to read power as fate or destiny. Since S/M is the theatrical exercise of social contradiction, it is self-consciously against Nature, not in the sense that it violates natural law, but in the sense that it denies the existence of natural law in the first place.
S/M performs social power as both contingent and constitutive, as sanctioned neither by fate nor by God, but by social convention and invention and thus open to historical change."

- Anne McClintock, "Maid to Order: Commercial S/M and Gender Power