A Kink in the Relationship - Upcoming Workshop

It can be a sad thing when we want to but cannot share our kinks or bdsm desires with our partners for fear that they will respond in a negative way. It is even harder to risk sharing our fantasies when more than just our relationship is riding on the line...a house, kids, a shared dream.

Mostly, in these cases, we just want our partners to accept us for who we are, to love us with all our eccentric predilections. Our sexual fantasies are a deep part of who we are and it can deepen our level of intimacy with our partners to share such precious and personal gems with a receptive audience.

Often though, the response from our significant others, if we have even risked sharing, is far from what we were hoping for. Fears, questions, anger, inadequacies, accusations, and distrust are common responses when one partner shares vulnerable and less than conventional fantasies with their more vanilla inclined partners.

And to our partners' credit, they are often hearing something that they have no context for and no knowledge about save for perhaps societal stereotypes. They often do not know how to process or work with this new information about the person they thought they knew, and may question what their partner's desires mean about them.

I will be running a workshop on February 22, 2011 for women whose male partners have divulged kinky fantasies and who aren't sure how to deal with the information. If you know of someone who you think would benefit from this workshop please let them know to register asap as I will need a minimum of 8 participants to run it.

The details are as follows:

Workshop: A Kink in the Relationship
Date: Feb. 22, 2011
Time: 7-10pm
Cost: $40.00
Location: TBA

Please register before Feb. 15, 2011 by contacting Shahrazad at the_alchemical_seductress@inbox.com

Employee Memo

I have recently been promoted to Directing Manager of Santa's Naughty List.
In my new role here at North Pole Inc., will be in charge of making a list, and checking it twice so that I can find out who has been naughty and who has been nice.
Then, I will be determining where the naughty boys and girls live (thank heavens for Google Earth) so that I can slide down their chimneys on Christmas Eve (facilitated by rubbing lubrication all over my red and white latex catsuit uniform).
Once inside each house, I will kidnap each individual according to Santa's New Protocol (i.e. by gagging them with a candycane, tying them up with strings of LED christmas lights, and throwing them in a potato sack.)
Please note that all of these "naughties" will then be transported to my playspace where I will strip them naked and use them as interactive holiday decorations until they promise to be nicer next year.

I am around for the holidays and can think of 101 perverted things to do with christmas pudding. Consider yourself warned.

New Workshop at Good For Her

I have a new workshop coming up at Good For Her on January 18, 2011 for men and women, called The Art of Crafting BDSM Scenes.

Blurb is as follows:

"Know you're a top or bottom, have some technical BDSM skills, but still not sure how to pull it all together to create a mind-blowing scene? This interactive workshop will give you the skills to do so, with special attention paid to establishing structure, creating atmosphere, filling in details, and shifting realities."

I will also be offering the tremendously successful The Reluctant Dominatrix workshop for women at Good For Her on Feb. 1, 2011.

Registration for both workshops required through Good For Her (www.goodforher.com).

We want YOU as a new recruit!

Aren't uniforms sexy? Something about the pomp and circumstance of authentic regalia just makes me...well...wet...as I imagine the many nasty things that I could force you to do by way of the power invested in my role and rank.

In anticipation of Christmas, I have just treated myself to an authentic Canadian Air Force uniform, and an unauthentic but very sexy police officer uniform made of an unlikely combination of pvc and bamboo.

If you are as in love with uniforms as I am and want to do some hot power exchange role play before (or during) the holidays, drop me a note.

I enjoy prisoner of war torture scenes, arrest scenes, interrogations scenes, prison scenes...the list goes on...

Be naughty this Christmas. I won't report you to Santa...if you cooperate.

The Importance of Letting Yourself Be

Some recent sessions have me wanting to write something for all those of who struggle with feelings of shame and guilt about their particular fetishes and fantasies.

Any time there is a part of ourselves that we don't like, or that we are afraid our loved ones won't like, we separate from it and stuff it into the unconscious parts of our psyches, telling ourselves that if we just ignore it, maybe it will go away. We may blame ourselves for being "different" from the sexual "norm", or pretend that our interests are more socially acceptable.

But from my heart to yours, I can tell you that as long as you are denying that those parts of yourself exist, you will not know the deep self-acceptance and self-love that comes from letting every part of you have a voice and be seen...those parts which you or others perceive to be acceptable AND those parts which you or others don't.

Sexuality runs deeps to the very core of who we are, and often our strongest sexual associations are established as we are exploring our worlds as children, before we even have a language to speak about them. When I say this I am not implying abuse, but rather am speaking about the natural energy and attraction that young children have for what is in their worlds. They engage with the world in a sensual way, tasting, touching, smelling, hearing, seeing...and inwardly processing those feelings.

Therefore an equation between a particular thing and "feeling good" gets set up, and as we grow up we continue to seek out that which we associate with "feeling good".

That is nobody's fault, and it is neither good or bad, it just is. The problem is that we then grow up into a society that promotes the myth that there is one normal way to get turned-on and engage sexually. So we begin to compare our fantasies with the figurative "guy next door", and judge ourselves as weird or perverted.

BUT THE MYTH THAT THERE IS A SEXUAL "NORMAL" TO WHICH WE SHOULD ALL BE ASPIRING IS JUST THAT - A MYTH!!!

The truth of human sexuality is that the only norm is sexual variation - that is, there are as many different ways of expressing sexuality as there are people in this world.

So whatever your particular flavour, let yourself be. You are perfect exactly as you are.

Anybody home?

Yup. I'm still here.
Still kinky, still happy, still working...
Just a little quieter (read busier) than usual.
Don't be shy to get in touch, I only bite if you ask nicely ;-)

An Amusing Birthday Poem

A sincere thank you to all of you who sent me birthday wishes over the last week. I am taking the liberty to share one of the more amusing notes, a delightful poem written by a devoted slave and aspiring footstool ;-) who had a recent opportunity to serve Me:

Monday After a Session with Princess Shahrazad

It's Monday morning, the welding sparks fly
The machines scream, the supervisors shout
Buddy looks at me, screws up one good eye
"What the fuck are you smiling about?"

The scene replays in the eye of my mind
Her voice wraps around me, a silken jewel
i kneel in silence, Her Highness behind
Excitement of Christmas, last day of school

Thereupon, the transformations begin,
The sofa's a throne, Her cane now a wand
Shame becomes peace, fear's now comfort within
How can i thank Her, but embrace the bond?

Why do i smile, Bud, does that interest you?
If you only knew, if only you knew.

- t.