We might as well be sleeping with our priests, parents, politicians, and doctors. A provocative statement, for sure, but think about it: When we decide to engage sexually with whomever we happen to fancy in the moment, it's not just you and her (or him), a pile of condoms, whips, rope, and several hours of free time.
Who we are and how we behave sexually, what our sexual do's and don'ts are, are impacted by the sex negative conditioning that most of us have been unable to escape in the way we've been socialized. Be honest with yourself - when was the last time you were so totally present with whomever you were engaging with that you couldn't hear the little voices in your head providing a continuous self-critique? And curiously, aren't those thoughts the very same things that your dad or mom used to say, that your priest or other religious leader mentioned in sermon when you were a kid, that some other authority figure used to tell you to shame you into thinking that there was something inherently wrong with your sexual fantasies and desires?
"You are a dirty old man for liking this.", "I'll go to hell for behaving this way." "Masturbation is only for lonely desperate people.""Kinky sex is perversion and inherently sick, therefore I must be..."
We don't give ourselves half a moment to wonder when or why the hell we started believing all these things anyway, or if they actually make sense...
Human sexuality is wonderfully complex and diverse. In my opinion, as long as engagements are consensual and safe, who cares whether you get off having a latex-wearing cowboy fuck you from behind while you're dressed in drag as Barbara Streisand?
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