Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From My Dominatrix: Deprivation, Denial and Discipline

This is the first article in a series. Read my introduction in a previous post.

What on earth could possibly be good about deprivation and denial, and the discipline that gets learned as a result? If there are three words that inspire absolute repulsion in people it is those three. We live in an addictive society that is all about instant gratification. Press a button, and your groceries end up on your doorstep. Turn on your computer, and you can pick up women without leaving your bedroom. If we have to wait more than five minutes for something we say that it takes too long. It is as though we are contending with a societal pandemic of attention deficit disorder.
One could say that this is a good thing, an indication that we are evolving...but is it? Do we get the same kind of satisfaction from a microwave dinner as we would if we had grown the food ourselves, painstakingly prepared it and carefully cooked it? The former is certainly quicker than the latter. But it is the former that we are more likely to stuff down quickly in front of a television set. Satisfying? Not particularly!
It is the same in a BDSM session, particularly for those who are new to the game. One can look at the deprivation and denial in a session and be frustrated because what one perceives to be one's needs, whatever they are, are not being immediately addressed. Alternately, one can surrender to the deprivation in whatever form it takes, sublimating one's baser instincts for something much more inherently satisfying and fulfilling. This takes quite a lot of discipline and self-control,
but the benefits are significant. According to Tantric belief systems, the occasional circulation within the body of the energy of arousal without reaching a peak, or by taking a longer than usual time to peak, promotes health and vitalizes the organs. It cultivates discipline, which builds the integrity of one's character, teaches patience, and gives a person a sense of accomplishment. Lastly, the next time a "meal" does appear on your plate, ready for consumption, one will be able to slow down and consciously savour the precious gift of it with the satisfaction of knowing that one earned it!

Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From My Dominatrix: Introduction

A wise man once told me with regards to my work as a Domme that it is not what I do, but how I do it that matters. He also told me that it is the intent behind my actions that determines the context, and that in that way the simplest of activities can become a ceremony to lead both Domme and sub further into self-awareness. Finally, he added that it is useless to talk about any of the above, because it must be experienced to be believed.

Over the next few weeks, I will be beginning a series of posts about some of the unusual, curious, or controversial aspects of a BDSM session, giving an alternate perspective on how to embrace such activities for personal self-development simply by shifting one`s intent, attitude, and approach.

I will touch on: deprivation, letting go of control, and receptivity to start.
Stay tuned...

Foot Lovin'

I have recieved numerous mock complaints from my devoted foot worshipers, pointing to the fact that I do not have a gallery of foot pics on my site. 'Tis true. So while I work my sexy little toes to create a foot gallery, here are a few stray pictures...try to resist the urge to lick the screen ;-)

All photos credited to photographer PT Potter.