Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Playful Erotic: Dusting Off the Adult Imagination

She chased you to the back of the playground and told you she'd share her new crayons with you if you showed her what you had "down there". You tried kissing her with bubble gum in your mouth to see if you could share a "bubble". He often played "doctor" with his next-door-neighbour, always delighted when she rang him up complaining that she was "sick".

Somewhere along the line, most adults decide that sexual exploration is serious. Very, very serious. This wasn't always the case, as the examples above illustrate.

Perhaps it happens at puberty, with the self-consciousness of a changing body or the guidance (or misguidance) of a strict or nervous parent, or a little later with the increasing pressure of "performance", a partner's high expectations, or anxiety about pregnancy and STI's.

While those may have been, and may continue to be very real concerns, if you focus all of your attention on them you will miss out on one of the biggest secrets of joyful erotic connection: Humour, innocence, and PLAY!

I often joke with people, saying that My chosen field of work feels like being back in drama camp. I get to do face painting (make-up), wear costumes, and invent and play imagination games. I make the rules of the game, and if I don't like the game anymore I change it. It is true that the content of My games now are a little more adult oriented - but that is one of the pleasures and priviledges that comes with being an adult.

As a Dominant, one of My intentions is to re-awaken in you the spirit of play. Those of you've sessioned with Me know well the mischevious, impish grin that is never far from My lips. There is something very healing about taking the time to explore your fantasies in a space of unconditional acceptance and heck, even love. It means that the dirty little secrets don't take up as much of your psychic energy in the rest of your life. And, in shining a little more light on a formerly shameful, dusty dark corner of your mind, you may actually find a bit of the self-acceptance that so many desperately seek.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Be the Change...

A dear teacher once told Me to "be the change I want to see". In other words, to stop dreaming about how the world should or could be better, and to start engaging within it as though it already looks that way.

For Me, that means not sitting around being depressed because people are so negative about sexuality, but actually taking time to discover for Myself and then embody what a sexually healthy person might look like. I seek to be a role model for conscious sexual development, in order to help people discover their own unique and individual sexual truths.

There is so much misinformation that we get daily from the outside about how we should be, feel, do, or experience sex - and virtually no encouragement to look inside ourselves and the wisdom of our lived experience for the answers. And sexuality is a vital and essential part of what makes us human!

I encourage all of you to take some time to reflect on how authentically you are giving expression to your sexual truths, whatever those might be. Have the courage to take a measure of how much space you allow them, and then be brave enough to give them a bit more breathing room.
They are embodiments of your most essential self, and that self deserves to live.