IMPORTANT:
The only days this month I AM AVAILABLE for sessions in Toronto are: JULY 27, 28, and 29.
I will be checking email intermittently between now and then, so if you are interested in booking for one of those three days, send me an email.
Other than that, I will be resuming regular sessions in Toronto AFTER AUGUST 9.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Back From Phoenix
Now, I am certain that while the cat was away the little mice have gotten themselves into piles of trouble. You know you need to be set straight, don't you...!
I can happily report that I had a lovely time in Arizona, whose dry heat is still infusing Me with a passionate enthusiasm for life, kink, and adventure! During My travels, I made the aquaintance of the incomparably lovely Mistress Porsche Lynn, and will likely be passing through the Den of Indomitus sometime before the end of the year. Keep an eye out...I will post more details here as they become available.
In the meantime, I need to exercise My claws...
I can happily report that I had a lovely time in Arizona, whose dry heat is still infusing Me with a passionate enthusiasm for life, kink, and adventure! During My travels, I made the aquaintance of the incomparably lovely Mistress Porsche Lynn, and will likely be passing through the Den of Indomitus sometime before the end of the year. Keep an eye out...I will post more details here as they become available.
In the meantime, I need to exercise My claws...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Human Sexuality Counselling FAQ
As many of you know, I am a trained psychotherapist, My area of expertise from formal education and life experience being Human Sexuality. I often get asked the same questions over and over by people inquiring about these services, and so am reprinting them here for anyone who is potentially interested:
Who are these services for?
Men, women, couples, transpeople, sex workers of all sexual orientations or predilections...Anyone who wants to delve deeper into self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-development in the arena of their sexuality and/or sexual identity.
How many sessions do I see you for?
Our sexual natures are complex and multifaceted. We did not become the way we are overnight, so one cannot expect that whatever it is you are trying to work through will get resolved in one session. The actual number of sessions vary depending on the person and the desired goals, but I would say that a minimum of three sessions is generally necessary to begin to gain some insight and perspective.
What would we talk about?
The "issues" that we talk about in session are client-defined. What that means is that I am not going to diagnose you or label you or tell you what I think your problem is. Those who access My services generally have a good idea of what they want to explore and why, and so that becomes the starting point for the work. Just a few of the past issues that I have been approached with:
Who are these services for?
Men, women, couples, transpeople, sex workers of all sexual orientations or predilections...Anyone who wants to delve deeper into self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-development in the arena of their sexuality and/or sexual identity.
How many sessions do I see you for?
Our sexual natures are complex and multifaceted. We did not become the way we are overnight, so one cannot expect that whatever it is you are trying to work through will get resolved in one session. The actual number of sessions vary depending on the person and the desired goals, but I would say that a minimum of three sessions is generally necessary to begin to gain some insight and perspective.
What would we talk about?
The "issues" that we talk about in session are client-defined. What that means is that I am not going to diagnose you or label you or tell you what I think your problem is. Those who access My services generally have a good idea of what they want to explore and why, and so that becomes the starting point for the work. Just a few of the past issues that I have been approached with:
- Seeking understanding of personal fetishes, fantasies, or desires that seem to differ from the "norm"
- Acceptance of sexual or gender orientation
- Exploring personal motivations for engaging or not engaging sexually
- Difficulties with orgasm
- Desire incompatibilities in relationships
- Patterns of sexual engagement that no longer work and need changing
- Sexual communication skills
What would a session consist of?
Sessions may include goal setting, discussion, narrative therapy (a form of therapy that bases itself on the stories people tell about themselves and their worlds), and role playing or other experiential exercises to help you gain insight into yourself. I may give you tasks or assignments to complete at home in between sessions.
What are your fees?
Counselling fees can be found on My website, in the "Appointments" section.
Isn't it time you uncovered and lived from your sexual truth? Pleasure is everyone's birthright!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Leaving on a jet plane...
Going to Arizona on a personal trip on June 18, returning June 30, and will not be checking email during that time. If you would like to book in advance for the month of July, send Me a note and I will get back to you asap on My return to confirm it with you.
Enjoy the lovely June weather...
Enjoy the lovely June weather...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
The Playful Erotic: Dusting Off the Adult Imagination
She chased you to the back of the playground and told you she'd share her new crayons with you if you showed her what you had "down there". You tried kissing her with bubble gum in your mouth to see if you could share a "bubble". He often played "doctor" with his next-door-neighbour, always delighted when she rang him up complaining that she was "sick".
Somewhere along the line, most adults decide that sexual exploration is serious. Very, very serious. This wasn't always the case, as the examples above illustrate.
Perhaps it happens at puberty, with the self-consciousness of a changing body or the guidance (or misguidance) of a strict or nervous parent, or a little later with the increasing pressure of "performance", a partner's high expectations, or anxiety about pregnancy and STI's.
While those may have been, and may continue to be very real concerns, if you focus all of your attention on them you will miss out on one of the biggest secrets of joyful erotic connection: Humour, innocence, and PLAY!
I often joke with people, saying that My chosen field of work feels like being back in drama camp. I get to do face painting (make-up), wear costumes, and invent and play imagination games. I make the rules of the game, and if I don't like the game anymore I change it. It is true that the content of My games now are a little more adult oriented - but that is one of the pleasures and priviledges that comes with being an adult.
As a Dominant, one of My intentions is to re-awaken in you the spirit of play. Those of you've sessioned with Me know well the mischevious, impish grin that is never far from My lips. There is something very healing about taking the time to explore your fantasies in a space of unconditional acceptance and heck, even love. It means that the dirty little secrets don't take up as much of your psychic energy in the rest of your life. And, in shining a little more light on a formerly shameful, dusty dark corner of your mind, you may actually find a bit of the self-acceptance that so many desperately seek.
Somewhere along the line, most adults decide that sexual exploration is serious. Very, very serious. This wasn't always the case, as the examples above illustrate.
Perhaps it happens at puberty, with the self-consciousness of a changing body or the guidance (or misguidance) of a strict or nervous parent, or a little later with the increasing pressure of "performance", a partner's high expectations, or anxiety about pregnancy and STI's.
While those may have been, and may continue to be very real concerns, if you focus all of your attention on them you will miss out on one of the biggest secrets of joyful erotic connection: Humour, innocence, and PLAY!
I often joke with people, saying that My chosen field of work feels like being back in drama camp. I get to do face painting (make-up), wear costumes, and invent and play imagination games. I make the rules of the game, and if I don't like the game anymore I change it. It is true that the content of My games now are a little more adult oriented - but that is one of the pleasures and priviledges that comes with being an adult.
As a Dominant, one of My intentions is to re-awaken in you the spirit of play. Those of you've sessioned with Me know well the mischevious, impish grin that is never far from My lips. There is something very healing about taking the time to explore your fantasies in a space of unconditional acceptance and heck, even love. It means that the dirty little secrets don't take up as much of your psychic energy in the rest of your life. And, in shining a little more light on a formerly shameful, dusty dark corner of your mind, you may actually find a bit of the self-acceptance that so many desperately seek.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Be the Change...
A dear teacher once told Me to "be the change I want to see". In other words, to stop dreaming about how the world should or could be better, and to start engaging within it as though it already looks that way.
For Me, that means not sitting around being depressed because people are so negative about sexuality, but actually taking time to discover for Myself and then embody what a sexually healthy person might look like. I seek to be a role model for conscious sexual development, in order to help people discover their own unique and individual sexual truths.
There is so much misinformation that we get daily from the outside about how we should be, feel, do, or experience sex - and virtually no encouragement to look inside ourselves and the wisdom of our lived experience for the answers. And sexuality is a vital and essential part of what makes us human!
I encourage all of you to take some time to reflect on how authentically you are giving expression to your sexual truths, whatever those might be. Have the courage to take a measure of how much space you allow them, and then be brave enough to give them a bit more breathing room.
They are embodiments of your most essential self, and that self deserves to live.
For Me, that means not sitting around being depressed because people are so negative about sexuality, but actually taking time to discover for Myself and then embody what a sexually healthy person might look like. I seek to be a role model for conscious sexual development, in order to help people discover their own unique and individual sexual truths.
There is so much misinformation that we get daily from the outside about how we should be, feel, do, or experience sex - and virtually no encouragement to look inside ourselves and the wisdom of our lived experience for the answers. And sexuality is a vital and essential part of what makes us human!
I encourage all of you to take some time to reflect on how authentically you are giving expression to your sexual truths, whatever those might be. Have the courage to take a measure of how much space you allow them, and then be brave enough to give them a bit more breathing room.
They are embodiments of your most essential self, and that self deserves to live.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Kinky Thought of the Day
"To experience the fullness of human experience, we need passivity and receptivity as well as assertion.
We need a sense of mystical wonder as well as rational problem solving.
We need to be in touch with what the psychoanalyst Carl Jung called "the shadow" - the weak, limited, degraded, sinful side of ourselves as well as the strong, loving, compassionate, competent side.
We need to move out from under the onus of our egocentric way of viewing life; to abdicate control as well as to take it.
Masochistic submission, in centering on lack, inadequacy and weakness, puts us in touch with the entirety of our humanity."
~ By Dorothy C. Hayden, in Masochism as a Spiritual Path
We need a sense of mystical wonder as well as rational problem solving.
We need to be in touch with what the psychoanalyst Carl Jung called "the shadow" - the weak, limited, degraded, sinful side of ourselves as well as the strong, loving, compassionate, competent side.
We need to move out from under the onus of our egocentric way of viewing life; to abdicate control as well as to take it.
Masochistic submission, in centering on lack, inadequacy and weakness, puts us in touch with the entirety of our humanity."
~ By Dorothy C. Hayden, in Masochism as a Spiritual Path
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