Friday, February 13, 2009

Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From My Dominatrix: On Receptivity

Article three in a series. See previous posts.

Let’s get the following straight so that we can begin on the same page without miscommunication:

What receptivity is NOT:

-Coming into a scene thinking that you already know everything there is to know about being a submissive.
-Topping from the bottom.
-Trying to guess what Mistress wants before she makes a request or gives a command.
-Attempting or suggesting reciprocation for pleasure or sensation given.

Is any of that surprising?

I ask because men do not necessarily spend a lot of time being receptive. Their natural tendency based on societal conditioning is to DO things and then think about them after (maybe). Receptivity is a learned state for men, not because they do not have it within their make-up, but because men are not particularly encouraged to develop that part of themselves while growing up.

Perhaps you have one or two favourites from this list despite the fact that as a submissive you are meant to be receptive to orders, sensation, stimulation, prompting, etc.?

I have observed that many men tend to engage in one or more of the behaviours above, though perhaps not entirely consciously. They are covert ways of being active while under the guise of the submissive role. You will not experience the full pleasure of receptivity until you abandon these by the wayside.

So then what does it mean to be receptive?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines receptivity as “…able or inclined to receive; open and responsive to ideas, impressions, or suggestions.”

If your arms are already carrying lots of boxes, how can you reach out to receive the gift that someone is offering you?
If your glass is already full, how can you sample a different wine?
If you think you already know what is going to happen, how can you be present to what actually does?

The key to receptivity is the state of emptiness. It is only when you are empty of all pre-conceived notions and ideas that you can hope to have room to take in new information or experience. When you step into scene play, start disciplining yourself by making the choice to be receptive to whatever Mistress weaves into your reality in the moment. Taste, touch, smell, and see it for the first time, as though travelling through a new landscape that you have never before explored, no matter how many times you have traversed similar terrain. Re-remember the wonder you had as a child, and apply it!


Reza said...

A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's overfull! No more will go in!" the professor blurted. "You are like this cup," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup."

Matt said...

Princess Shahrazad,

Awesome post! I think I'll find this info very useful. Thank You!