Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Importance of Letting Yourself Be

Some recent sessions have me wanting to write something for all those of who struggle with feelings of shame and guilt about their particular fetishes and fantasies.

Any time there is a part of ourselves that we don't like, or that we are afraid our loved ones won't like, we separate from it and stuff it into the unconscious parts of our psyches, telling ourselves that if we just ignore it, maybe it will go away. We may blame ourselves for being "different" from the sexual "norm", or pretend that our interests are more socially acceptable.

But from my heart to yours, I can tell you that as long as you are denying that those parts of yourself exist, you will not know the deep self-acceptance and self-love that comes from letting every part of you have a voice and be seen...those parts which you or others perceive to be acceptable AND those parts which you or others don't.

Sexuality runs deeps to the very core of who we are, and often our strongest sexual associations are established as we are exploring our worlds as children, before we even have a language to speak about them. When I say this I am not implying abuse, but rather am speaking about the natural energy and attraction that young children have for what is in their worlds. They engage with the world in a sensual way, tasting, touching, smelling, hearing, seeing...and inwardly processing those feelings.

Therefore an equation between a particular thing and "feeling good" gets set up, and as we grow up we continue to seek out that which we associate with "feeling good".

That is nobody's fault, and it is neither good or bad, it just is. The problem is that we then grow up into a society that promotes the myth that there is one normal way to get turned-on and engage sexually. So we begin to compare our fantasies with the figurative "guy next door", and judge ourselves as weird or perverted.

BUT THE MYTH THAT THERE IS A SEXUAL "NORMAL" TO WHICH WE SHOULD ALL BE ASPIRING IS JUST THAT - A MYTH!!!

The truth of human sexuality is that the only norm is sexual variation - that is, there are as many different ways of expressing sexuality as there are people in this world.

So whatever your particular flavour, let yourself be. You are perfect exactly as you are.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Thank You Princess for a very sensitive and insightful piece that helped me feel a little less alone in the world. i'm quite sure that reading it will help many other souls out there as well.

Matt said...

Master,

Thank You for such an awesome post. I look forward to the day when I can be half as enlightened as You.

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