For the Love of Service: Slave Applications

Many people contact Me wanting to know whether I accept personal slaves. To my dry amusement, most queries of this nature sound something like this (perhaps taken from "Writing Personal Slave Acceptance Letters For Dummies??" At first, I was mistaking this type of rhetoric for genuine desire; I'd now prefer not to repeat My mistakes...

"Dear Mistress,
I have decided that my life means nothing without absolute and total surrender to a Mistress. I just know that that Mistress is you. I am floating in a sea of meaninglessness and I need to be treated like dirt 24/7 in order to convince myself that somehow serving you is going to rescue me from the rest of my intolerable reality. I want to give up my job, my life, everything for you and live in your backyard tethered to a tree. Please please answer as I cannot go on any longer with this void...blah blah blah...."

Fact One: I am entertaining the notion of personal slaves at this time.
Fact Two: If your introductory letter to Me sounds anything like the whining, pathetic mock-up printed above, please don't send it. Your chances of being accepted into My inner circle are slim to non-existant.

Ok, so then how should inquiries of this nature look?
First of all, treat it like a job application. If you are trying to convince your employer that you are a worthy candidate, the first thing you want to do is to convince your employer that you are an asset to the team. Your employer is not interested in hiring a worthless heap of self-pity. I want slaves that have self-worth and self-esteem. What skills do you have that you think the employer might be looking for? What are your "selling points", the skills, talents, abilities, or resources that you possess that you might like to offer Me as the focus of your service? What kind of slave are you? (eg. a chauffeur slave, a domestic slave, a bootblack, a shopping slave, an errand slave, etc.) Do not underestimate any of your abilities - the unique and unusual ones are what make you stand out to me amongst many applications. Present these assets of yours to me in a way that communicates humility (egotism doesn't do it for Me either), but also an awareness of your own value as a human being.
Second of all, I am always more likely to accept slaves who have sessioned with me regularly for a period of time, as it allows time to determine O/our compatibility, and demonstrates your loyalty and determination to serve. Are you true to your word or does the reality of service not match the fantasy you were entertaining in your mind?
Third of all, tell me about yourself as a whole person. Are you emotionally stable? Do you enjoy other aspects of life beyond submission? What are your hobbies? What are some of your accomplishments in life? I take pride in my slaves and want to encourage their goals and aspirations beyond our D/S dynamic.

Hopefully this illuminates more clearly what I am looking for. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mapping Your Sexual Mindscape

I have always thought that being forced to write your fantasies down and describe them to someone is a useful exercise in creating more intimacy with yourself.
My firm belief is that until an individual has deep clarity within themselves about their likes and dislikes, they will not be able to attract someone to them who is able to give them what they need. Those of you who are in committed relationships will not be able to sit down and have a coherent discussion about your kinky desires with your partner until you can maturely describe and talk about what you want without being vague, getting embarrassed, hinting at what you want, or making her/him guess.
A homework assignment for all of you: take the luxury of sitting down with a pen and paper and writing down, in sumptuous detail, your naughtiest or most transgressive fantasy. Really embellish it until it is the grandest fantasy you can imagine. Now sit down in front of a mirror and read it out loud to yourself, as though you were reading it to another person. Allow your voice to convey the passion of the words you are speaking. Do it until 1. You are no longer shy about speaking it aloud 2. You are so lusty in your description that you get turned on by your own voice 3. It becomes obvious to you that you are speaking your heart's desire.

Now you can start thinking about repeating the performance to an actual audience. You never know, you might just get what you want!

Happy Birthday to Me!

October 19 being the magic day, I have begun my annual recap of the year past and have concluded that I now know four new bits of wisdom that I didn't know last year about this time:
1. The extent to which pervy people make me happy.
2. That I like poking things just to see what happens.
3. How many different practical applications there are for a toothbrush.
4. That true devotion is priceless.
I am greatful for each and every scene as a learning experience and a source of much sensual richness in my life.
Happy thanksgiving!

Your 15 Minutes of Fame...

If anyone out there is interested, I received this email today from a producer at a legitimate and well-known local television station. Please contact her directly at the email address below if you are sincerely interested. Please note that she has informed me that she is looking for someone who is willing to show their face and speak openly about being a submissive man on camera.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

For the past 8 years I produced for an award winning television show called ***** which explored human sexuality in an open, honest, and respectful way.

I am currently working on a pilot for a new show and I was hoping to get your help. For the pilot – I am looking to speak with a charismatic and articulate submissive man. Ideally this person would have a really regular daily life (i.e. family, office job, etc) which contrasts with their fetish life.

If there is anyone you would suggest who might fit this bill – that would be lovely.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Best,
Cynthia
ilovestrongwomen@hotmail.com

Exercising Control...

Anyone can point a gun to someone's head and force them into submission. Muggers and serial killers employ this technique to great success. If I threaten to hurt you, to really hurt you, you will likely do what I say. One could technically say that the "victim" in this case has been "dominated". However, I can tell you that as a Domme, brute force is not as interesting to me (most days of the week) as is the intoxication of psychological control.
A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of learning about sensual domination from international fetish diva and sex educator Midori. The most potent and memorable thing she said was that a great Dominatrix or Top will continually seduce their submissive into consent. I interperet this to mean that in every moment, the Domme offers the submissive a choice: To jump off the precipice into the unknown or not, while simultaneously making the unknown look so attractive that the submissive can't help but want to go there. Approaching domination in this way requires more presence, more artistry, and more skill. And the submissive, who in his perfect trust chooses to say yes to each opportunity presented, is giving their Top that much more meaningful a gift: conscious, willing surrender.

Revisiting Sexual Stereotypes

Men's desire is supposedly:
initiative, assertive, physical, competitive, genitally-oriented, quick to arouse, seeking sex, and focused on performance,
while women's desire is supposedly:
receptive, submissive, emotional, cooperative, whole-body oriented, slow to arouse, seeking love, and focused on connection.

These ideas are so ingrained in our social fabric that many people take them for granted. While they may be true some of the time for some people, they are not necessarily true all of the time for all people. When men or women have fantasies and/or desires that do not fall into the correct category for whatever gender we happen to be, our first instinct is to make them wrong, to dissociate from them and pretend they're not there, or even to put them down when we see them in other people.

I would argue that both men and women experience an amalgam of the above traits, at different points in time, even at different ages. The purpose of bringing this to your awareness is so that you can start to ask yourself where in your life you buy into these stereotypes, and therefore where you are limiting your sexual imagination. Do you suppress your desire to be tied up and ravished by a woman because you think it will mean you will be less of a man? If you are a woman, do you get uncomfortable if your male partner asks you to dominate him because you think being assertive sexually is unnatural for a woman?

Just something to think about...

Dreaming Up The Ultimate Playspace

For over a year now, upgrading my play studio has been high on my list of desires. Aware that I am providing you all with high quality and skilled domination, therapeutic, and fetish services, I want a playspace that better reflects the magickal, mysterious, sensual, and otherworldly ambiance that I weave. I am creating a distinctive and beautiful oasis with adequate space, that is discrete, safe, and comfortable for you. And I would love for all your energies to be woven in to assist me in manifesting this dream.
Therefore, at this time I am appealing to the loyal and devoted followers of my blog and/or website and to my dear slaves and submissives for support of my dream in whatever way you are able: Perhaps you or someone you know owns live/work zoned property and is open to having me rent space in the downtown Toronto area, perhaps you are skilled in making furniture and would like to donate a few custom-made dungeon pieces, or perhaps you would simply like to make a tribute that will be put towards the project.
I will be collecting resources and contacts between now and August 2009, with the intention to move into the new space in the fall of 2009.
Let the process begin!